Goals of Living
Author
2 minutes read
Making friends is a difficult problem for a lot of people, especially adults. The pandemic has made it even harder. Fortunately, there are ways to combat this widespread problem so you can start being more social and make more friends. Here are five steps on how to make friends easier, influenced by the famous book “How to win friends and influence people”.
Do you remember that time when someone introduced you to someone and said “I want you to meet this guy, he’s really serious and is always frowning!”. Me neither. People tend to like others that are energetic and smile more; positive people. If you don’t usually smile then you need to grow a habit out of it.
It usually takes two weeks to form a habit try to make an effort to smile more during that time. You can try to smile when you’re alone to start the habit, or start directly when you meet other people. Did you know that salespeople usually smile when talking on the phone, because they tend to sound happier? You could do that from anywhere.
There’s nothing better than hearing your name, yet we tend to be reserved when mentioning others people’s names. Try to add people’s names more to what you’re saying. For example, instead of saying “That’s a good idea” you can add their name as well to make it friendlier “That’s a good idea, Mike!”.
Let’s be frank, have you ever asked someone how they were doing just so they could ask you afterward? This is pretty transparent, and it doesn’t make a person like you. People like to talk about their interests and their lives, and in a world where a lot of people are focusing on themselves you can stand out by asking follow-up questions.
Ask someone how their interest or life is going, what difficulties are they facing? Have they achieved anything? What’s the next step? Being genuinely interested in others people’s lives will make you liked and there’s a big chance that you come across as charming.
I like discussions and playing the devil’s advocate. But it doesn’t come across as friendly and you won’t win any friends by it. People believe what they want to, saying they are wrong only makes them feel like they’re inferior to you.
Try to avoid it at all costs, do you think something is wrong? Don’t say “I know for a fact this is wrong”, you will only achieve in making them feel attacked. Instead, you can say for example “I haven’t looked at it from that perspective, how does x work if you take y into consideration?”.
Everyone is unique in their own way, and it’s important to recognize the potential in people. Everybody has something to bring to the table and it’s important to be genuinely interested in the other people.
